Peanut Butter Fudge

Oy. Somehow I have three papers due by the end of the week. So much stress! I need to not freak out. But I'm so good at it. I used to be better. Which is not a good thing, being a pro at anxiety. It's been a long time since I cried because I was so overwhelmed by work. And I am not about to let that happen again.

Do not trust them when they say it is American Style. It is not,

When I was younger, as young as like, nine years old, I always had something to worry about. if I wasn't worrying, that was also a cause for worry, because it might have meant that I was forgetting something that I was supposed to be worrying about. But as a consequence I always did really, really well in school. Because not being the best at everything was another reason to worry. I avoided competition and team activities because of how much I worried about losing. Relying on other people was too much of a risk, for them and for me. Yeah, I am aware that isn't a very healthy mentality to have.

Is it worth it to sacrifice my sanity? No way. I learn in college to let go of some of my control issues. Not all of them (it's a work in progress). So I have to figure out how to strike a balance between uh, happiness and having friends and being a normal, functioning human being without feeling like I'm neglecting my work. Sometimes I don't know how to do that. Sometimes stress baking helps, and it helps a lot when it's something you can make in five minutes. Sometimes boiling sugar makes you feel more alive. Hooray for peanut butter fudge! 

If all else fails, you can just listen to this guy over and over again. 

Peanut Butter Fudge

2 cups sugar
1/2 cup milk
1 tsp. vanilla
3/4 cup peanut butter

 

Put sugar and milk in pan and bring to a boil. Boil two and a half minutes. Remove from heat and add peanut butter and vanilla. Stir just until mixed well.Pour into greased pan (the smaller the pan, the thicker the fudge will be. And 8x8 is pretty good). Cool and cut.